Why people date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be fraught with problems, cause sorrow, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, finances, age difference, faith background, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I am conserned mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your relatives or anybody else? You would need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest cluster, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is gone, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair